It’s true, it’s true: Everything is bigger in America.
Want an example? Check out the huge USA-sized wager taking place between the mayors of Los Angeles and Boston over the NBA Finals.
(Incidentally, this bet accidentally makes for the best argument for an eight-team America/Europe tournament: Just imagine the Cleveland and Moscow heads wagering the Rock ‘n’ Roll Hall of Fame against 1,000,000 square miles of Siberia on the Cleveland Cavaliers-CSKA Moscow finals in 2015…)
The bet is as follows.
L.A. Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa:
“If the Celtics win, we’ll send you the best professional [American] football team L.A. has to offer: the Arena League’s Los Angeles Avengers.
“If the Lakers win, we get the [New England] Patriots.
“I know what you might be thinking: ‘Villaraigosa must be nuts! Bostonians would make out like bandits in that deal! With an indoor arena team, the fans would not have to risk frostbite to see a mid-September game. And with the smaller field, our coaches wouldn’t even need cameras to steal opponents’ signals.’
“I’m sure my constituents might not be happy with this deal, but I am so confident in the Lakers’ victory that I am willing to put it all on the line.”
“Oh, and to sweeten the pot, in the event of a Lakers victory you can keep the Patriots’ coach.
“We have a pretty good guy down the street who might be interested in the job — and who probably still has the gear.”
(Note to Europeans: Villaraigosa was not referring to famous Californian and the most well-known American football player abroad, O.J. Simpson.)
From Thomas Menino, mayor of Boston:
“Tonight is indeed an historic evening – the great competition begins once more between two of the NBA’s fiercest rivals. I remember well the last time we BEAT L.A. – there certainly have been a lot of changes in those 20-plus years. …
“But you’ve come up with an interesting bet. I know you don’t have much to offer so I appreciate your creativity. I would love to accept the arena (minus the team), but only because we could use the extra space for all of our banners – the rafters at the Garden are getting a little too crowded and we’re having trouble finding room for the 17th. …
“While I understand you won’t have the chance to come out and see a game in Boston, I hope you will have the opportunity to attend a game in Los Angeles. This series is bound to be a memorable one, so I suggest you consider breaking the L.A. custom of missing most of the first quarter and leaving early to beat the traffic.
“Your city is renowned for its great storytellers including yourself, Mr. Mayor, but I am sorry to say that this time there won’t be a fairytale ending. Best of luck, and Go Celtics!”
Now, anybody wanna bet on the Olympics? Germany…? Spain, maybe?
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